Adoption is a loving option for you and your baby, but sometimes the facts get a little confusing. Below are a few questions some women have about adoption.
Will my baby think I abandoned him/her?
Adoption is heroic. Adoption is a loving, hopeful option for your baby and if you choose, you can have a role in picking your child’s adoptive family. Adoption is not “giving away” or “giving up” your baby, it is you making the best parenting decision for your child.
If I pursue adoption, will my child end up in the foster care system?
No. Private adoption is not the same as foster care. The foster care system is for children who need temporary care because of abuse or neglect in their birth family. It also involves a decision on the part of the state and is not a voluntary decision on the part of the mom. Your child will not go into foster care if you place your child for adoption.
Will I ever see my baby again if I choose adoption?
You are able to pick the type of adoption you want. It is up to you whether to stay in touch with your child and adopted family, or to have complete confidentiality.
An open adoption allows for some contact with your child and the adoptive family. According to a recent study, over 95% of adoptions today have some level of openness with contact taking many forms and varying in frequency. An adoption professional can work with you and your adoptive family to develop a plan for how often this information can be exchanged. This can include texts, pictures, letters, gifts and visits. Open adoption can have many benefits, both for you and your child, including your child having a better sense of identity in knowing more about their birth family. Talk to an adoption agency to learn more.
If you don’t want any information to be exchanged, you can choose a closed adoption (see below).
What if a “no contact” relationship with my child after the adoption is best for me?
That is fine. In some situations, it may be best for birth mothers to have complete confidentiality and no contact with their child or the adoptive parents. This does not mean that the birth mother does not love or care for the child. She has already given the child the great gift of life! If this is your situation, you can pursue a closed adoption arrangement with your adoption agency.
It is important to note that even in an open adoption, adoptive parents have full parental rights and make all decisions in regard to your child's care.
Do birth moms care about their children?
Yes. Birth moms love their children and want to provide their baby with the best care. Here are some reasons why birth mothers choose adoption.
- She isn’t ready to be a mom.
- She can’t financially afford a child.
- She doesn’t have the support of her family or community to raise a child.
- She wants her baby to be raised by two parents but doesn’t have a good relationship with her baby’s father.
- She wants to finish her educational or vocational goals before having a baby.
Is open adoption a healthy choice for my child?
Open adoption is the most common type of adoption in our country and studies show it is the most rewarding. In fact, in 95% of all adoptions in the United States, birth parents share some information with their child.
Are most birth mother’s teenagers?
No. Most birth mothers are in their twenties and parenting other children.